C.O.R.E. Healing: A Path to Personal Growth

When someone uses the word "core" we may start to envision the Core of an apple. We may eat the layers around it, only to discard this small area filled with seeds. Others may envision the earth's Core, intensely hot with magma boiling. The Core wounds we are referring to in this post can be visualized with both of these images. Our core wounds are the seeds planted within us in the form of unconscious coping mechanisms that developed through experiences that occurred at various stages throughout our lives, especially in early childhood and adolescence when our sense of selves are still fragile. Our emotions are the magma within the earth filled with energy that may be triggered by environmental factors and lead to an explosion comparable to a volcanic eruption. Noticing these emotions helps create the map to identifying and healing our core wounds, an essential component for personal growth. Being mindful of our emotions, especially our intense reactions that are not proportionate to the situation, functions as a flashlight that guides us through the darkness to the other side of immense healing.

What Are Core Wounds?

Core wounds are deep emotional scars that can affect our self-esteem, relationships, and overall well-being. They often originate from experiences of rejection, abandonment, betrayal, or trauma. These wounds can create patterns in our lives that hold us back from reaching our full potential.

There are four core wounds that are most likely to cause an internal scar that you may not be aware of without delving deeper within your unconscious.

1. Abandonment:

   Besides more blatant situations such as the death of a parent or the proverbial father abandoning a child at a young age, less typical family dynamics can also cause an injury. These days parents find themselves working harder than ever to support their families. For children who only long to feel loved and safe, the lack of attention can start to feel like neglect. It is a matter of reflecting on your childhood to see if this wound resonates with you based on your own personal experience.

   
   

   Some clues that you may have an abandonment wound include difficulties developing intimate relationships with others and an overall mistrust of human beings in general. If you ever wonder why it is a challenge for you to develop close friendships or develop a relationship with a romantic partner, you may want to take time to heal this core wound.

   
   

2. Rejection:

   Similar to the abandonment wound, children often experience feelings of being unwanted or unworthy. Although both parents are physically present, their behavior towards their child is either inconsistent, which can be confusing to a child, or more often violent in form. Violence does not refer to physical abuse but rather includes aggressive communication styles such as yelling, criticizing, and judgement. A child's sense of self is fragile and all these forms of rejection can lead to a scar within that impacts the trajectory of their lives.

   
   

   There are several clues that lead to this being your primary wound. People who have experienced the wound of rejection as a child may develop social anxiety, an inclination for perfectionism, or have a constant need for approval.

   
   

3. Betrayal:

   Humans are not perfect. Even the parents who manage to provide us with the attention and love and positive attention can ultimately behave in a manner that can be experienced as betrayal. The child looks up to their parents with eyes of wonder and deep trust. When a child perceives a parent as having let the child down in some manner, their sense of betrayal takes root at their core. Examples of behaviors construed as betrayal to a child are unique in nature but can range from a parent dying, a divorce or separation, or a parent being caught in a criminal or immoral act.

   
   

   A clue that you have a deep rooted fear of betrayal is having difficult being vulnerable and trusting fully. The fear within you may prevent you from truly developing the connections and intimate relationships that bring us joy and fulfillment in life.

All roads lead to shame.

Shame:

All three core wounds may lead to a sense of shame that can affect our self-image and how we interact with others. When you hear the voice of an inner critic or allow people to treat you in a manner that is not respectful, shame has taken residence within your core. These seeds are sometimes subtle. It may look like being a people pleaser, or over efforting to make others happy. Your sense of worthiness may be fragile and any attention from others seems to ignite a sense of being enough. However, this sense of self is as fragile as a filament as the moment that attention is removed, your inner child may start to tantrum.

Shame is one of those emotions that most people do not like to discuss. Although we may be experiencing shame because of the abandonment, rejection, or betrayal we perceived to have occured when we were younger, it needs to be dealt with in the present moment.

1. Make time to process any emotions that are related to feeling the shame of being unlovable, unworthy, or less than others. Whether you can identify your core wounds or not, a guided meditation can be helpful in healing the shame we were handed down from our parents.

   1. Close your eyes. Take 7 deep cleansing breaths. Envision yourself in a circle of trust. Invite your parents to stand outside the circle. Hand back the shame they gave you as a child.

2. Take time to journal about your experiences of shame in the present moment. Does it remind you of a past experience? Do you notice a pattern?

   
   

If you want to know if a core wound is still influencing your life, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Do you often engage in negative self-talk such as criticizing yourself or feeling unworthy?

2. Do you find it hard to connect with others on a deeper level?

   
   

3. Do certain situations or types of comments provoke a strong emotional reaction within you?

   
   

4. Do you tend to avoid situations that either remind you of a past pain or that cause a physical reaction in your nervous system for no known reason?

   
   

5. Do you struggle to trust others, even those close to you?

   
   

The Importance of Healing Core Wounds

Healing core wounds is crucial for personal growth. The first step in the process is becoming more aware or conscious of our emotions and behaviors. By taking time to process our reactions, we initiate the process of owning our present reality so we can release the past injury and fully engage in the reality of the present moment. This process helps us break negative patterns and create healthier relationships. Healing at the core allows us to embrace our true selves and live more authentically.

Benefits of healing:

• Improved Self-Esteem: As we heal, we begin to see ourselves in a more positive light.

  
  

• Healthier Relationships: Healing allows us to connect with others without fear or distrust.

  
  

• Emotional Resilience: We become better equipped to handle life's challenges.

  
  

• Greater Self-Awareness: Understanding our wounds helps us recognize triggers and patterns.

  
  

• Increased Happiness: Healing leads to a more fulfilling and joyful life.

  
  
  
  

Steps to Begin Healing Core Wounds

1. Acknowledge Your Wounds

The first step in healing is to acknowledge your core wounds. Reflect on your past experiences and identify the wounds that resonate with you. Your feelings and behaviors will guide you to where you need to look. Writing in a journal can be a helpful tool for this process as well as finding a safe person who can listen to you process your experiences without judgement.

2. Seek Support

Healing can be challenging, and seeking support is essential. If traditional therapy is not for you, consider researching the American Society for Alternative Therapists (A.S.A.T) C.O.R.E. Education program for resources. Support groups can also provide a safe space to share your experiences and connect with others.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself as you navigate your healing journey. Understand that it is okay to feel pain and that healing takes time. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend.

4. Explore Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. These practices can create a sense of calm and help you process your emotions. Start with just a few minutes each day and gradually increase your practice.

5. Challenge Negative Beliefs

Core wounds often lead to negative beliefs about ourselves. Challenge these beliefs by questioning their validity. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. For example, if you struggle with feelings of unworthiness, remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments.

6. Set Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for protecting your emotional well-being. Learn to say no when necessary and prioritize your needs. This can help you create a safe space for healing.

7. Engage in Creative Expression

Creative outlets can be powerful tools for healing. Consider exploring art, writing, or music as a way to express your emotions. This can provide a sense of release and help you process your feelings.

8. Embrace Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a vital part of the healing process. This does not mean condoning the actions of others, but rather freeing yourself from the burden of anger and resentment. Forgiveness can lead to emotional liberation and peace. When we forgive others, we find it easier to forgive ourselves.

Conclusion: A New Chapter Awaits

Healing core wounds is an individualized journey of rediscovering your true essence before the emotional injuries occurred. By acknowledging your wounds, seeking support, and practicing self-compassion, you can break free from the past and embrace a brighter future. Remember, healing is not linear but a spiral in which you can see your growth by the way you handle similar situation throughout your life. Each step you take brings you closer to being more of who you really are.

For five minutes each day, close your eyes and envision the light flowing within you. When we take a mere five minutes to connect with source energy, magic starts to happen.